Red Lanterns Ho!

My anger is something that I try to keep in check. It scares me the more angery I become. So I try to bottle it, which in turn makes me grumpy until I get over it. And I believe being grumpy is better than letting my rage out.
Take today, a friend of mine passed away recently. I requested an early leave on an up coming day for the memorial service and was granted it. That was until the other guy who works with me the day told me he wasn't coming in that day so he could have fun. Now that aggravated me. But when he later told me to not be a cry baby when I went to talk to him later about it, I wanted to cause him great physical harm. So I wanted away and am now in a very cranky mood.
My coworkers, and family later, are cross with me because of my bad attitude. And I do feel bad that I am so pissed, because they all agree with me on this. But still, I lose out. The most they can do is fire this guy, which I would greatly enjoy, and that still causes me to miss out. And even if they tell him he has to be here, he will just call in or not show, going back to the firing. God I want to beat this guy till he is in traction.
And I am a big guy, both is size and muscle. I am strong and if I had lost control and caught this guy, who I still wish to beat into traction, I could have hurt him. And it scares me that I could be so violent. I am not a violent person, even in my games I look for a non violent solution. 
And I have lost my temper in the past and placed more than hole in the walls at home, reminds me I still need to fix those. I don't want to hurt anyone. So please don't get me angery, I don't want to turn green and hurt people. It just isn't me.