So I figured this is something i'd share with people. It is what I am most afraid of. Its nothing big, just what truly scared of.
I am afraid of being alone. Not being not with people, but not having people to turn to when in need. And it is hard dealing with this at times, even though I have nothing to fear.
I grew up with very few friends. I had one or two and even those friendships faded with time. For so long I only had my family to rely on, and that was fine, but it made me feel isolated. I became shy.
That all changed with in my sophomore year of high school. It was then when I met my other brother. He's not really my brother, but I consider him to be one of my siblings, bringing the total to four. He has always been there when I needed him and I can never repay him for that.
And of my siblings my two sisters and my brother are also there for me when I need them. As are my aunts, uncles, and parents. But as I said my family has always been there, and with so much of them. Four parents do you believe that? I needed so much help growing up I had two sets of parents!
My other brother is still there when I need him, but my circle of friends boomed when I graduated high school. It went from two to like twelve people that I called friends. I even ended up dating one for ten months before she broke up with me. Slowly however I have lost most of them as friends, do to distance, time, or them just being self centered asses.
But they were a stepping stone to another round of friends, a bigger ring of friends with more people who care about me as well as me caring for them. A bunch of great people from all sorts of backgrounds and all with their own quirks.
I have an organless friend, who is my Statler to his Waldorf. I have a mad scientist who moved to Georgia on me but I still love her. I have a jeweler's son who is a fanatic gamer I visit almost every week with. I have another who doesn't take crap from people and is very independent and strong and I respect her for it. I still have my other brother and many many more.
Yet even with all these caring people and with all my family I still fear being alone. I even can't help but feel alone at times. Mostly when I am surrounded by people, and I see their happiness. Not that I'm not happy, I am. I am very happy with things, I mean my life isn't my dream, but it could be much much worse and I still have more to be thankful for than not. But I still feel lonely at times.
But as I said I have more to be thankful for. So thank you to all my friends and family who make the loneliness seem so much more less. Thank you for making laugh and smile when I'm sad. Thank you the shoulder when I need to cry. Thanks you for caring about me as much as you do. I love you all so much!
I am afraid of being alone. Not being not with people, but not having people to turn to when in need. And it is hard dealing with this at times, even though I have nothing to fear.
I grew up with very few friends. I had one or two and even those friendships faded with time. For so long I only had my family to rely on, and that was fine, but it made me feel isolated. I became shy.
That all changed with in my sophomore year of high school. It was then when I met my other brother. He's not really my brother, but I consider him to be one of my siblings, bringing the total to four. He has always been there when I needed him and I can never repay him for that.
And of my siblings my two sisters and my brother are also there for me when I need them. As are my aunts, uncles, and parents. But as I said my family has always been there, and with so much of them. Four parents do you believe that? I needed so much help growing up I had two sets of parents!
My other brother is still there when I need him, but my circle of friends boomed when I graduated high school. It went from two to like twelve people that I called friends. I even ended up dating one for ten months before she broke up with me. Slowly however I have lost most of them as friends, do to distance, time, or them just being self centered asses.
But they were a stepping stone to another round of friends, a bigger ring of friends with more people who care about me as well as me caring for them. A bunch of great people from all sorts of backgrounds and all with their own quirks.
I have an organless friend, who is my Statler to his Waldorf. I have a mad scientist who moved to Georgia on me but I still love her. I have a jeweler's son who is a fanatic gamer I visit almost every week with. I have another who doesn't take crap from people and is very independent and strong and I respect her for it. I still have my other brother and many many more.
Yet even with all these caring people and with all my family I still fear being alone. I even can't help but feel alone at times. Mostly when I am surrounded by people, and I see their happiness. Not that I'm not happy, I am. I am very happy with things, I mean my life isn't my dream, but it could be much much worse and I still have more to be thankful for than not. But I still feel lonely at times.
But as I said I have more to be thankful for. So thank you to all my friends and family who make the loneliness seem so much more less. Thank you for making laugh and smile when I'm sad. Thank you the shoulder when I need to cry. Thanks you for caring about me as much as you do. I love you all so much!
No comments:
Post a Comment